BLEPHAROSPASMODIC

I have discovered an awesome new weapon against telemarketers - Lily. The past 3 calls I have handed over to Lily as soon as they start their spiel, occasionally taking back the phone and chiming in to keep it going as long as possible. I try to coach lily along. This last call, I was amazed. Whatever-her-name-was from some company interested in reducing our mortgage held on for nearly 3-4 minutes. From what I could hear, the conversation went something like this:

Woman: Hi, this is so-and-so from such-and-such lending….
Lily: Hi Mommy!!!
Woman: Hello?
Lily: I eat mac-anonis, hot dog, milk!
Woman: ???
Lily: I go poop (on the) potty!
Woman: Oh really? Sir, are you still there?
Me: Yes, I’m sorry.. my daughter took the phone.. please continue.
Woman: I’m interested in lowering your interest ra……
Lily: WHAT???
Woman: Hello, sir?
Lily: Mommy??
Me: I’m sorry again…
Woman: She sounds cute. We show that your current…
Lily: I play (with) my toys in (the) backyard. It not dark yet!
Woman: ???
Lily: Come play (with) me! Come on!
Woman: Sir, are you still there?
Lily: My daddy right here! Talka me!
Woman: Can I talk to your daddy?
Lily: My daddy, um, my daddy poop (on the) potty too!!
Me: Lily! don’t tell the woman I’m in the bathroom
Lily: What???
Woman: Sir, is this a bad time
Me: No, not at all - I can wipe and talk
Woman: I’m sorry, is this a joke?
Lily: [singing] twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder way up high
Woman: ???
Lily: I want some can-nee (candy)

I believe it was at this point that the line went dead.

This is wrong on so many levels:

Link: Crazy Japanese Ad 

Thanks for the link, Zac.

I wonder if other people have tried to feed their cat cereal when they’re too lazy to run to the store, thinking, “well, it looks like cat food”… I poured some in her bowl and she came running, stuck her head in, and then looked at me and said “meeeaaaooow,” as if to say, “what the hell is this??”

I think it was the marshmallows that gave it away

Lily comes strolling into our bedroom at 6am Monday morning (the day after daylight savings day)…

Lily: (muffled whimper) Mommy.. Daddy…
Me: Morning Lily, it’s time to get up
Lily: No, it not! (opens curtains) see daddy, it dark outside
Me: I know Lily, but we have to get up now
Lily: No! I not get up now.  Dark out der.  I wanna sleep more (climbs into our bed)

I felt her pain.  I hate driving to work in the dark again…

There’s something about Sundays that really get me down.  I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I know Monday is right around the corner and i felt I haven’t had any time off, or if it’s just some mental block that keeps me from enjoying the day.  Whatever the case may be, I can’t shake these Sunday Blues.

Yesterday, I dropped Lily off at “dram-ma’s” house to have a sleep-over.  I went to UMSL Trivia night, where a bunch of us ITS folk played for charity.  Um, yeah, we came in last place. I ask you, would you recognize the flag of Somalia if you say if for about 10 seconds?  Yeah, me neither.

Now the time change - I was getting used to waking up and it being light at 6am.  That part is going to suck.  i guess the added hours of daylight at night will be nice.  I still don’t really believe that it saves us energy.

I wonder when our new living room furniture is going to get here.  I wonder how we’re going to get the current couch downstairs.  Even slipping the delivery people cash may not squeeze it through the tight doorway.

I wish Lily would go down for a nap.  It’s like trying to roll a ten ton boulder up a mountain… I have Budgets and a 5 year hardware replacement plan to iron out.  I was hoping to get to work on that this afternoon.  On a positive note, my weekly meeting for tomorrow has been canceled.

This had me in near tears.

**ABSOLUTELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK or anyone that has any objection to profanity.

link: The f*cking short version of The Big Lebowski

I suppose you might have to know and like the movie to enjoy the clip as much as I did.

The picture is bad enough, but the story is more than disturbing.

This world just surprises me less and less each day…