So, for those of you living in a cave, there’s been the story of Shawn Hornbeck, Ben Ownby, and Michael Devlin (Google News Search) that occurred here in St. Louis. I wont go into details, but I found it odd to learn the my Grandparents are good friends with the Kidnapper’s (adoptive) parents. Apparently the Devlin’s aren’t answering their phone and nobody can get through. Anyway, I just thought it a small world.
I was chatting with Drew this evening when I was reminded of Jarrad…
My best friend and next door neighbor at the time were standing outside our house. We were probably 13 years old. Ritz Crackers had just come out with their Ritz Bitz sandwich crackers (either peanut butter or cheese), and we were up to no good sharing a box when along comes Jarrad walking down the sidewalk. Now, I don’t know exactly what was wrong with Jarrad, but there was something just not quite right with this kid. He was probably a year younger than us, and I suppose since he didn’t go to our school but lived right down the street that he went to some private school or something. Maybe it was a ’special’ school…
Anyway, a few days prior to this, he had come across Chris and I blowing up sand castles and other fun stuff with M-80’s in the park behind our townhouse. We had a tower built and lit the fuse when Jarrad decided he would pour his soda on the extended wick and our building. Needless to say, it didn’t blow up. It was our last round of M-80’s and we had tied them all together for a spectacular explosion. We were pissed. He tried to run, but again, he was ’special’ and didn’t get very far before we pounced on him and beat him.
So, back to the story at hand. Jarrad comes walking down the sidewalk a few days later and tells us something about us needing to leave him alone because he knows karate. I’m not sure if I or Chris started it, but we got right up in his face and began talking to him while simultaneously spewing out our chewed up Ritz bitz all over him. “what’r'ya [spit] talkin’ [spit] about, Jarrad ? You [spit] gonna [spit] roundhouse kick us? [spit]” We must’ve emptied half a box ‘talking’ to him - and he just stood there and took it without flinching. I don’t remember the whole conversation.. but then he said something that i will *never* forget. He stood up straight, pointed his finger back and forth at both of us, and exclaimed, quite proudly, “I’m smarter than you, because I know, I know that in Brazil, it’s time to pork a mother-fu@ker and stick it in it’s eggshell.”
The next 30 seconds are pretty hazy, but I remember both of us laughing so hard we were crying. And Jarrad just stood there. Chris told us both to stay right there, that he had to go in and use the bathroom. he came out about 10 seconds later with a huge cord of rope. We tied Jarrad to the giant oak tree in front of our house, decorated him with markers, and then left him there while we walked to the mall to go the the arcade.
The weather was pretty nice today, despite having rained all day yesterday, so I decided to take Lily to the park. We were having a pretty nice time and after a short time, a fairly young guy came up with his two sons and year old daughter. The daughter was in the swing next to Lily, and we started small talking (’nice weather, isn’t it? How old is she?’ etc) It was at this point that things started to get a little strange. Now, I don’t consider myself a scary looking person, or someone that people would cross to the other side of the street if they saw me coming - and maybe having a little daughter with me made me seem less of a threat, but nonetheless, in my book, when it comes to kids, “stranger=danger” That being said….
I know parents love to show their children off, and we have them perform their tricks in front of other people, but this guy went a little too far in my opinion. He asked his son a series of questions, all of which he was able to answer:
1. Can you tell this man your name?
2. Can you tell him your birthday?
3. Can you spell your first and last name?
4. Can you tell him your address?
5. Can you tell him your phone number?
6. Can you tell him where your Mom and Dad work?
7. What school do you go to?
I was waiting for him to ask his son for his social security number so I could apply for a credit card in his name. Maybe I’m a little overprotective, but I think giving out that kind of personal information to a random stranger in the park is a bit odd. I mean, isn’t that where pedophiles and other vagabonds tend to hang out?
However, that wasn’t event the strangest part of my park experience. Immediately after Nick telling me all his private information, he told his dad he had to ‘go poop outside.’ his dad kinda looked at me, and then told his son, no, we’ll have to go to the trash can. And then, yes, he pulled down his son’s pants and held him over the giant blue trash can while his son defecated into it. I stood there in awe watching, giving his daughter a little push on the swing here and there and telling Lily not to look. This looked like a nice family - a new car, well dressed, etc..
We left quite quickly after that.
I’m an Uncle again - for the 6th time. My Brother and his wife had their third daughter December 20th. 2 more are on their way in the next 6 months; my sister Ashley and her husband Andrew will be having their 2nd and another sister Jenni and husband Joey will be having their first. My older sister and husband are waiting for their adoption from China to go through for their 2nd. That’s a lot of nieces and nephews… 
It’s giving Amanda Baby-fever. *runs*
Yes, our neighbor called in that someone hit our trashcan and fled the scene and the police have actually filed an official report.
If the audio doesn’t work, here’s the link to download: Hit and Run
If you stomach is upset in the morning, do not - I repeat - do not, eat “mexican pizza” for lunch.
Words to live by.
